Barrel-Dregs, Brulines Confessions. (139)

By | October 25, 2010

BRULINES CONFESSIONS.

How often is it that Pot Boy hears of the “well I fessed up, ‘ad no choice, know wot I mean”. Usual con trick of so called irrefutable Brulines data as to buying out. Your lease, your livelihood, kids at school, your sanity all at risk through the accusation that you have been “robbing” your bullying Pubco Partner of supply tied sales. Sign the “confession” and all will be swept under the carpet until your BRM wants to cut up nasty.

You have after all SIGNED A CONFESSION no less!! Well practical and specific and free help is at hand. PB has consulted ‘ mi learned friends in the snug bar six o’clock crowd, all of whom were genuinely shocked (now there’s a thing!) that the Pubcos could be that downright nasty. The three of them came up with a sample letter that anyone who has signed a CONFESSION should use as quickly as possible. It goes like this….

Dear (insert BRM/ARM name),

Re (Pub name and address).

I have no contractual obligations set out in my lease to accept any findings regarding the trade in (insert your pub name) based on information you may obtain from any equipment manufactured by Brulines Plc and installed in my premises by them for your use. It is my understanding that such equipment has not been approved either by Trading Standards or the Weights and Measures authorities for its use in connection with trade, and to do so would be illegal.

Contrary to your allegations, I have not dispensed at my premises any products which ought to have been sourced through your Company which were purchased from elsewhere. It is totally unacceptable for you or your Company to make allegations and threats, as you have done. I invite you to submit any printed evidence that you may have in your possession that would have lead you to make such serious allegations against me. If this evidence is Brulines data I have advice that the data is basically inaccurate and subject to inconsistences due to the crude and simplistic nature of the flow meter, working both in upwards and downwards flows and not differentiating between beer, water and gas.

I am writing to inform you that I am immediately withdrawing any statements, admissions or otherwise that I have made to your Company, orally or in writing.

Please accept this letter as formal notice that I require you and your Company to withdraw the allegations forthwith and in full. I am advised that the very serious allegations and threats you have made, causing both myself and my family deep distress, are of a nature that may later be considered by the appropriate judicial authorities as to be blackmail and demanding money with menaces.

If you persist in pursuing the allegations and threats founded on flawed and unapproved and basically inaccurate data, I shall have no hesitation in taking appropriate legal action naming you personally together with your Company, including informing the Police of your personal actions. I have no doubt that you are aware that the offences to which I refer above are criminal offences which may carry a custodial sentence.

I await your acceptance of the withdrawal of all and any accusations against me.

Yours sincerely.

There you have it. This is the very best that PB could get for my beleaguered correspondents. Brulines is not a legal, Weights and Measures approved means for attempting to fine for allegations of buying out of tie. PBs passim explain the full detail of the inaccuracies of the discredited system. Use to your best advantage and bring yourself back a little sanity.

Tootle Pip !!

Pot Boy

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