BRULINES not a good day.
Pot Boy South East was responding to an emergency call in Kent’s leafy suburbs a couple of weeks ago, to an alarming but all too common Brulines con trick. Yo thought I, can they still be pulling the same old down at heel chicanery, and to my regret the answer is to the affirmative. Background is all too familiar.
The heavily discredited Brulines kit had been installed about three years ago. As far as the tenant could remember he had had a couple of cursory visits from a heavy handed prison camp style individual who turned up unannounced, had a quick look at the box and pronounced his satisfaction. No worries until a wet behind the ears spotty new BRM turns up (third in a year ) and tells our man “you have been seriously buying out, the Brulines data shows on both Fosters and Becks that you have been selling over twenty percent more than we have been supplying you. We are going to forfeit your lease pronto”. Not surprisingly yer man was gob smacked and flatly denied any buying out and was so outraged that he told the pipsqueak BRM to vacate in a manner linked to sex and travel. OK so not the brightest of moves, but quite understandable. Corporates have long memories and take things very personally if you don’t show “respect”.
The Regional Manager then turns up a few days later with the timorous BRM skulking behind him and saying nothing. The tenant is accused of being banged to rights with an open and shut case for forfeiture. Chris Tarrent like, the RM says “but we don’t want to do that now do we…” If you sign this confession letter and pay a hefty fine we might just turn a blind eye this once. Get the picture my friends ? The tenant signs and pays up to avoid the expense of trotting off to court and defending himself. Neat little parcel all wrapped up in a nice bow, and promptly chucked in the bin.
Well PB South East did some hasty digging and found to his horror that the tenant never did have an access code to his own Brulines data. He hadn’t got one ‘cos he hadn’t asked for one because they never told him that he was entitled to the wretched thing in the first place. The access code gives you entry into your Brulines data. WHY? Because the heavily discredited system is supposed to be a Management tool to assist the tenant in making the business more profitable. Spy/policeman in the cellar?? Dear me, perish the thought and wash your mouth out with soap bretherin!!
Next we found the Brulines kit hadn’t been recalibrated since it had been installed, that’s three years rather than max every six months. Next the tenant paid a reasonable fee to the local Weights and Measures officer to carry out an accuracy test on the flow monitor contained at the heart of the bow of tricks. ERM, guess what, the readings were out by over 27.8%.Aside from the Fosters and Becks lines, some of the others were reading the other way by up to the same amount. John Smiths Bitter showed that he was selling massively LESS than he had been supplied with. All in all a total dogs breakfast.
The Brulines access code then opened up Pandora’s Box on inaccuracy after inaccuracy. The “confession” letter has been withdrawn and the evidence of Brulines inaccuracy has been politely supplied to the Regional Manager with a demand that the “fine” be repaid rapido. So that’s the position over the last few days.
Get the Brulines access code to which you are entitled. Bring in Weights and Measures to check whether the kit is type stamped “for use in trade”…for sure it is not if it’s used for fining purposes. Finally don’t forget. TNS (that’s Take No S*** ) from either Brulines of your friendly cuddly Pubco placeman putting it about that not only is he your friend, but he’s your partner in business.
Now if you believe that last one, there really are fairies at the bottom of your trade garden.
Gentle drive up the the A2 and see if the beer is still just as good at the Good Intent in Rochester which used to be PB South Easts favourite haunt in his courting days. Rumour has it that it got some CAMRA award in 2008.
Bottoms up !
Pot Boy South east.
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